Day 270 of Complete Sobriety: Night and Day
A couple of nights ago, a coworker and I were goofing around after an event and taking pictures under the lights outside of the Fox Theatre. We were laughing and being silly. A random snapshot captured the picture on the right.
I cherish this moment. I remembered a time when this type of casual playfulness was foreign to me, especially sober.
The picture on the left was taken around Feb 2013. Six months prior I was recruited from teaching to be a software developer. I was elected to chair a board committee at my alma mater. This photo was taken because I had just pledged $10,000 to help inspire young alumni to give back. I was proud to be featured in the alumni magazine. To the observer and even some of my closest friends, it seemed was on top of the world.
Comments on social media hinted at a different story:
“Something’s missing in that picture…OH! I know!!! No cocktail in your hand!”
“A picture of him in a raft with a beverage would have been better!”
The reality was I was only sober a few hours of the day. I weighed nearly 250 lbs. I hated myself. I was willing to be whoever others needed me to make people like me. I gave thousands of dollars just for approval and recognition. I was talented enough to hide my darkness, but it was tearing me apart.
This picture shows how much one can change in 4 years.
May 25th, 2013 – I walked into my psychologist’s office, Dr. Philip Flores, and admitted I needed help. I began treatment for a decade-long battle with substance abuse.
Jan 13th, 2014 – I was introduced to Ashtanga yoga and the loving community at Balance Yoga Atlanta. The Ashtanga method of practicing yoga is transformational.
Jan 1st 2017 – I stopped drinking so I could have the clarity to truly understand myself, begin to heal and focus on being the best human I can be.
Today I am better. I am grateful. I now do things I love. I now give because I care. I now have a lot of love to give.
Funny, I am never asked if choosing sobriety is worth it. I believe no one asks because the difference in me is like night and day.
Fee free to share if you think it will help someone.