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860 days sober: Today I didn’t quit After my second Sun Salutation the internal conversation started. “How in the fuck am we going to finish practice?” I was weak which was seemingly at odds with my practice earlier this week. I swear body states change as easily as mental and emotional ones. Was it the […]

If there is something you want to change in your life, you can. You might not be able to see a way or hell, you might not even recognize there is something you want to change yet. For many years people hoped for me. They hoped I would not drive home drunk again. They hoped […]

I am a Southerner. I was raised in Harrison, Georgia, a rural town of about 500 people; median income $18,125 in today’s dollars. I was bused 1.5 hours up and down dirt roads, every day, to go to school in the county seat, Sandersville. The dream of most families was for their kids to work […]

790 Days sober: I don’t have to feel this way. I stared through the window into the bar connected to my hotel in San Francisco. Everyone was having so much fun. I remembered a time when I could participate. Unfortunately I wasn’t recalling all the pain and hurt my drinking caused. I thought, “I don’t […]

I did not want to make the drive. Not again. A three hour drive into my own personal heart of darkness. Sitting with my thoughts while speeding to the very region I spent a lifetime escaping Garfield is not unlike the small rural Georgia town I grew up in. My brother has spent the last […]

Sutra 1.21 “The goal is near for those who are supremely vigorous and intense in practice” Sutra 1.22 “There are differences between those who are mild, average and keen in their practices.” A friend called me up recently seeking advice, “I admire your ability to seemingly navigate stress and conflict with a sense of peace […]

As a boy I loved to learn. Mama would sit with me at the dining room table every night and help me with my studies. Daddy, always the avid reader, modeled the behaviors of a lifelong learner.I am not sure where it changed. But after more than a decade of drug and alcohol abuse, my […]

700 days sober: Where does this path lead? “On this path effort never goes to waste and there is no failure.” Taylor and I sat down to record an episode of his podcast. Here sat a teacher and friend I feel like I’ve known a lifetime yet it’s only been 14 months. So much of […]

Many of you only know about past behaviours through my stories, and those of you who knew me before I got sober, only saw what I allowed you to see. People knew I liked to party and often drank “too much”. No one knew to what extent I was drinking.A friend sent me the picture […]

“I know what I’m asking but would you be willing to take on a project like me?” “I am willing to help in any way I can, but this is not my project to take on. It is your project. Writing it tore my heart. I’m open to talking to anyone who reaches out. I […]

“Slow your breathing Butler” “I am trying. I can’t.” “You can.” I could feel myself getting annoyed. I really was trying to breathe, but instead my breath was short and gasping. That day I practiced in the evening. I recall I made a cup of coffee for the trip to the shala. I was at […]

Tucked away in Atlanta, GA is my home shala, @balanceyogaatlanta If I had not found Balance 4.5 years ago I would not be sober. I am from a small town, population 500, in Georgia. I rode a bus for an hour up and down dirt roads to go to school in the neighboring towns 15 […]