Posts

700 days sober: Where does this path lead? “On this path effort never goes to waste and there is no failure.” Taylor and I sat down to record an episode of his podcast. Here sat a teacher and friend I feel like I've known a lifetime yet it's only been 14 months. So much of my youth I can't remember. Adulthood is a blur. A lifetime of being pushed and pulled by unconscious forces and conforming to what others wanted me to be while hating myself for not being the stereotypical Southern man. 700 days ago I decided to stop...

Many of you only know about past behaviours through my stories, and those of you who knew me before I got sober, only saw what I allowed you to see. People knew I liked to party and often drank "too much". No one knew to what extent I was drinking.A friend sent me the picture from April 2012. It's as close a picture I have to what my old life was like. This was just a beautiful summer day, probably around 1pm, I was drinking Jack Daniels straight out of the bottle, and even this picture doesn't show the numerous...

“I know what I'm asking but would you be willing to take on a project like me?” “I am willing to help in any way I can, but this is not my project to take on. It is your project. Writing it tore my heart. I'm open to talking to anyone who reaches out. I am willing to share my story with anyone that wants to hear it. I'm happy to hear people questioning their behaviors -- it is the first step, but sobriety is an internal project. No one else can take it on. I know they didn't mean...

“Slow your breathing Butler” “I am trying. I can’t.” “You can.” I could feel myself getting annoyed. I really was trying to breathe, but instead my breath was short and gasping. That day I practiced in the evening. I recall I made a cup of coffee for the trip to the shala. I was at least my 6th or 7th cup.I began to examine why I felt annoyed and why I could not control my breathe. This seems to be the very opposite of yoga. In yoga I am attempting to calm my nervous system, and coffee was keeping me...

Tucked away in Atlanta, GA is my home shala, @balanceyogaatlanta If I had not found Balance 4.5 years ago I would not be sober. I am from a small town, population 500, in Georgia. I rode a bus for an hour up and down dirt roads to go to school in the neighboring towns 15 miles away. This is football country, sometimes basketball and baseball if the high school is making a good run. Not even soccer back then. Definitely no yoga.My first exposure to yoga was when I dated Kristy in graduate school circa 2002. She was a Jewish...

Five years ago today, I walked into Dr. Philip Flores' office to seek professional help for an addiction I had been battling for over a decade. I was exhausted and tired of lying. I was tired of fearing people who believed in me would find out. I was tired of waking up and saying “not today” only to find myself doing that very thing hours later. Two failed long term relationships because I chose my addiction over honesty and intimacy. I not sure they ever knew why. Even my best friends had no idea I was high nearly every time...

470 Days Sober: Choosing to do what is right for me. Yesterday day I completed @taylorhuntyoga#Ashtanga intensive in Ohio. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I've never been good at choosing to do what is right for me. I just let life happen to me. Often letting other people drive. I have a chemistry degree simply because it was the shortest path to a degree when I was forced to choose. I went to graduate school because my professor suggested it. Even when addictions were destroying my mind and body, I would not quit because I thought...

As I stepped up to talk about our product vision, the question hit me, "How did this Southern boy from a town of 500 get here? Six years ago I was teaching high school chemistry.” Sixteen years ago I set out to get a PhD in chemistry at the University of Florida. Although I enjoyed my research in nanomembranes and quantum dots, I gravitated to teaching. Computers, and later the internet, always fascinated me so I started a website to help my students with their chemistry questions. A friend in computer science recommended Drupal, a platform written in PHP, as...

Late 2013. Jonathan and I had been trying to grab lunch for awhile. We hadn't seen each other in months. He is one of the smartest guys I know. The kind of person you listen to. Growing up he was both a brainiac and an athlete, but like me, gained a lot of weight as an adult. As he walked up the sidewalk I barely recognized him. He looked 20 years younger and 50 lbs lighter. He read a book called "Eat to Live" and eating a plant-based diet. Dec 31st 1013 A slammed back my last whiskey for the...

I started the day with a hangover. Unfortunately this was not uncommon back then. I had to "teach". Today would be a movie day. I enjoyed teasing my students with music, movies and people outside of their pop culture knowledge. We had "guess the song" pop quizzes that featured 90 rap, 80s music and golden country. With my head pounding and looking for something somewhat science based, I happened upon "How William Shatner Changed the World". They would meet Captain Kirk. A thesis in this movie was that much of the technology we enjoy today was first "invented" by writers...