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Really Facing Yourself for the First time Warning: Awareness may come with pain. I've been completely sober for 200 days. The last 10 days have been the hardest since I entered recovery 4 years ago. I spent 20 years numbing pain and excusing behaviors I did not understand. I lived a persona who pretended not to care. I thought addiction was the problem. It was but a problem. I thought drunkenness was the problem. It was but a problem. But when you are sober and willing to be aware, only then are you truly forced to examine yourself, see the...

It has been over half a year since I stopped drinking (190 days). This is an attempt at an honest reflection. Is it worth it? Absolutely. However, it is not easy or without pain. For me. For those who love me. If addiction is a wave of destruction, sobriety is a rollercoaster of emotion, shortcomings and learning. Joy and Pain. Like sunshine and rain. Ashtanga yoga was essential to my decision to stop drinking. Yoga helped me understand what was wrong in my life and what needed to change. I have made more progress in 6 months of not drinking...

In 170 days of not drinking the hardest part so far is realizing how flawed I still am. I still make huge mistakes. I still hurt others deeply. I still hurt myself. I still don't know myself. Sobriety did not fix me. However sobriety has made me more aware. Sobriety has given me the opportunity to take an honest look at myself. Sobriety has given me the space and energy to work towards becoming the person I want to be. Sobriety has allowed me to take responsibility for the outcomes in my life. I cannot undo mistakes I have made...

4 years and 145 days. Today is 145 days of no drinking. Today is 60 lbs ago. Today is also the 4 year anniversary of me beginning to retake control of my life. Today four years ago I walked into an office in Sandy Springs and said I had lost in a 10 year battle with addiction, and I needed help. Every day since has been hard. Every day since my friends have had to deal with my roller coaster of emotions and cries for support. I am forever grateful to you. You give me strength. I struggled if I...

Day 140 of no drinking completed. What does one do on this day instead of drink? Dress up like an elf with my niece and nephew of course. I spent most of my adult life running from myself. I somehow learned it wasn't cool to be nerdy; that it wasn't ok to love to study and dream of dragons and elves and Jedi and starfighters. I want my niece and nephew to know they should never be ashamed of who they are and what they love and that they can express themselves however they choose as long as they do...

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ― Lao Tzu Day 120 of no drinking completed. I think this picture sums up the results of this experiment. Many people have reached out in support and a few people to ask why and how. The why is complicated and probably best shared over a cup of coffee. In short, I got too drunk at a close friend's wedding. George Michael dying made me ask why my grandfather died so young. My Ashtanga practice made me ask why I wasn't building strength and progressing even...

Day 100 of no drinking. One hundred days ago I had compiled a list of all the things I needed to do to improve my life. I wanted to be a better friend. I wanted to be a better leader. I wanted to focus on people I mentor. I wanted to read more books. I wanted to be more articulate. I wanted to drop 30lbs. I wanted my yoga practice to improve. I wanted to have an organized and clean home. So much to do to be better. Instead I decided to experiment with taking one thing away. It has...

On Day 20 of no drinking, I finish books on Friday night.

Happy New Year everyone! I love you! Great passage from Epictetus to start the new year (and my 60 days of no drinking and more yoga). I will need your support let me know how I can support you!

I've been completely sober for 320 days. 5:10 am. Alarm. Snooze. Alarm. Definitely did not want to get out of bed. Yoga. Definitely need to get to practice. Go to morning practice Butler. You won't have time this afternoon. Coffee. Something about making an actual pot of coffee is satisfying. Should I read the Sutras or Marcus Aurelius this morning. Phone. Let me see if I need to respond to anything before I go to practice. One of my favorite parts of my yoga practice is it is an hour and a half away from devices and screens A boot!...