Early on Jan 17 2017 I received an email.
“I saw on FB that you're going to quit drinking and increase your yoga for 60 days and I just wanted to wish you luck. You can do it. I know [that not] drinking has been on your mind and I wish I knew the magic words to tell you to make it easy to give it up....All I can tell you is that my life has not lacked in any way without booze. It's been better. As Brene' Brown says, you can't selectively numb. If you numb the pain you also numb the joy. “
Whatever you decide, I know this 60 days has the potential to give you some clarity and possibly help you figure out what you need to do. ”
I told everyone it was going to be for 60 days -- you know one of those first of year health challenges everyone can rally behind -- but in my heart I knew I needed to stop drinking for good. For some reason I felt I needed the world’s permission.
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15
No one could physically put liquor in my body but me, yet I had never been able to stop drinking. I had convinced myself all my successes and friends I had were because I drank the way I did. Yet I was destroying my mind and body.
I had many compelling reasons to stop, but I seemed to be my own enemy; like a passenger in my own body wanting one outcome only to witness quite the opposite.
“Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm.”
I would spend the next couple of months exploring how to rebuild my mind. The effort has turned into a years-long journey. I have been blessed a hundred-fold since. I am so grateful.
My decision wasn’t a New Year’s resolution nor was it a health challenge. It was a necessity.
There is nothing magical about the first day of a new year, tomorrow or Monday. If you want to change something about your life, you can start this very minute. If you are not successful, try again. Don’t give up. Ask for help.
I choose to be open about my challenges with addiction in hopes it helps someone make the changes they want to make in their life.
Happy New Year!