810 days sober: I'll start Monday

Butler Raines Speaking at conference

Intending on taking a weekend off from drinking, I'd find myself sitting at the bar around 4pm on a Friday. And as much as I'd like to say others convinced me, it was more likely the other way around. The saddest part is that I convinced them because I thought they'd think it was cool I wanted to go start drinking immediately.

Well now my plan to not drink over the weekend was totally shot. So why take Saturday off. I'll start Monday.

I'll start reading Monday.

I'll start eating healthier...Monday.

Monday I'll take 5 days off from doing drugs.

What's so special about Mondays? Nothing. It was just my excuse to allow whatever behavior to continue.

If you have a behavior you want to change, the answer isn't Monday, it's now. And it doesn't have to be an extreme outcome.

If you want to start reading more, pick up a book and read two paragraphs -- today.

If you think you want to stop drinking, ask a friend to go on a walk with you after work today and tell them.

Action towards a desired outcome will make your brain feel good. It will make your feel more in control of yourself. It will start a new pattern.

I imagine we can all identify with that last statement "feel more in control of yourself."

But if you aren't in control of yourself, who or what is? And in that question lies the answers you seek.

For me for my actions were driven by a lack of self worth and physical patterns of addiction etched in my brain.

It took years of professional help and a disciplined yoga practice to unravel and then rebuild the man I am today; to begin to tame my mind and be ok with myself.

My growth didn't happen in an instance, I had to do the work daily and for a long time.

There are at least 20 years of my life I wish I could reclaim, and that's why now not Monday is so important for me to remember.