I was speaking to the team in our weekly meeting. As was often the case, my enthusiasm came out in choppy simple sentences. I'd get stuck recalling the simplest word. I was embarrassed. I had so much to say yet unable to get it out. My brain was broken.
This was my reality before I got sober. Getting sober wasn't just about drinking destroying my body, but also about fixing my brain. My mental states were all over the place, and I could barely conjure full sentences.
New Years resolution 2017: Stop drinking for 60 days. Write a public post every 10 days for accountability. Read more.
Publicly I shared I was taking 60 days off from drinking. Privately I hoped I could quit for good.
The first book I chose was Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic.
Reading philosophy started to inspire me and give me hope. The Stoics, The Gita, The Sutras. Spinoza. Why wasn't I taught this as a kid?
I felt calm in study. THe Yoga Sutras and Stoic philosophy taught me the importance of learning to control my mind.
My writing became bolder. Once only few sentences, I began writing paragraphs about my experiences and learnings.
My brain and mind changed.
"What flows through your mind sculpts your brain."
Unfortunately this works both ways.
People do not choose to become addicts. Due to circumstance, environment or pain we chose to use. Our mind convinced itself being high is better than our normal experience and our brains attach and form a pattern.
In this day and age, most of us do not get the tools needed to combat this.
If we are fortunate enough to be "safe", we are bombarded by attention merchants and advertising. We are made to feel less than and incomplete. We are rarely exposed to sound philosophy and true spiritual practice as youth. We are instead groomed to participate in a culture of more and better than.
Then enemy is at the gate .The battle is here. Only to win, the fight is internal not external. Learn to change your mind, be an example, then help others do the same.
Break the pattern.
"More than ever, the human world needs to find ways to build love, understanding, and peace, individually and on a global scale."