"Get busy with life's purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue - if you care for yourself at all - and do it while you can." Meditation 3.14
Last week I found writings from Jan 1st 2017. I forgot I wrote them. I described myself as riddled with anxiety and depression, wishing I was more articulate, and drinking too much, yet encouraged I had found new interests in philosophy and art.
"I want to figure out the type of man I want to be and think through how that man might conduct himself."
"Oh yeah and I’ve committed to 60 days of no drinking."
Even though drinking was destroying my mind, body and relationships, I was afraid to stop completely. My entire identity was wrapped up in it. Rarely did you see me without a glass of whiskey. I didn't know who I'd be if I stopped. I didn't think anyone would like me.
I decided on that day to to grow a beard and write publicly for the duration of my "experiment" with not drinking.
Whether you believe it to be circumstance or providence, the universe, through the love of friends, teachers, coworkers, and strangers, gave me the foothold I needed to continue my sober journey. I listened to my own body and soul. I held on.
A year later, at nearly 42, I'm the healthiest I have ever been. I understand myself better, and I am learning how to be in healthy relationships.
A year ago, my character was not equal to the love and opportunity that was being given to me. I have a long way to go, but I now feel better about what I am giving back.
Previously I was a man of no faith. I now have a practical faith. It is rooted in this sutra.
Sutra 2.1: tapah svadhyaya ishvara-pranidhana kriya-yogah
1) Practice and accept pain as part of the soul's purification.
2) Study both yourself and the ancient scriptures
3) Surrender to God
Practice. Study. Surrender.
I set out this year to find and heal myself. I am happy, and at peace with who I am becoming and how I am living.
I'm getting closer.
My wish for you is if there is anything you need to change that you find the courage and strength to change it.
Get active in your own rescue. Let me know if I can help.
I love y'all. Happy New Year!
Thank you for allowing me the space to share my journey with you. If you think this will help anyone please feel free to share.